Ugh, why why why?

Yes, please call me at 4:37 AM to tell me you are bailing because you are irresponsible, selfish, and inconsiderate.

At least I get to see Bob Dylan play.

I swear this man has changed my life. He won the Pulitzer Prize for his music!
I have floor tickets, am going alone (a first!), am taking a bus to Cardiff and now have even more of an excuse to drench myself in his albums.

Currently on one of his best: Another Side of Bob Dylan.

It is 6:24 in London and I can't sleep. I wrote a 26 page paper that I am pretty happy with, must print it out and I WILL PICK UP MY EXAM TIME TABLE HARRY. I promise. I want salmon salad or chicken from the Curve but will settle for buying new pasta sauce at Budgens as Noelle is visiting this weekend and I know no one will bring ingredients for Mexican fiesta, and I know I am going to overspend.

Good thing I found out UCI was keeping 3,435 from me. THANKS GUYS. That IOP guy is useless. Next year my resolution will be to be less bitter.

I think it's the lack of sleep, really.

Also, Wicked is overrated. I should have gone to see Les Misérables. Whatevs, a week from now, I will be in Morocco. I am a very lucky girl and my parents/brother rule at life.

and why is drycleaning so expensive?

Lastly, recommendation: DO NOT LIVE OFF OF RED BULL FOR 3 DAYS STRAIGHT.

two headed girl?

I think my room mate from home hates me now
things have been so awkward since I've been away
maybe they were right.

all i do is leave
but couldn't she see that I am happy now?
is it selfish if you finally get what you've been looking for?
if you're at a place where you are accomplishing nothing, being unhappy, wasting time?

who wouldn't want to leave?

go ahead, move out.
I thought it would be okay. I would come home, have some good times before I really did leave.

I guess I was wrong.

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others,
even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann

I knew I said I wouldn't cry.

I forgot about Brown this year.

My stomach won't stop churning

I couldn't possibly care less about metaphors and the cognitive processes that produce said phenomenon...or the huge essay I have to write on this by Friday. Oops.

Just one question, Mr. Davis

Why should I call when I have nothing to say?

and why is it that there is nothing to say between two formerly, I suppose now, close friends?
No excitement or thrills. I thought I had missed you but I am not even sure what it means to miss someone anymore.

It is not simply having the lack.

So I'm back....

to being the crazy insomnia-driven writer. I've missed the keys. Missed being drained by putting so much of myself into something. Missed the art of it all.

I might stay. I'm having a whirlwind of a time. And things just keep getting stranger. Sorry I am so cryptic. It's habitual. An innate mechanism, I swear. I promise to be loyal and write this time. Maybe even put some photos up.

London is great and I don't ever want to leave. If only money grew on trees.

And to my dear friends, thanks for keeping in touch xx

Oh wait...

I won't apologize for my bitterness.